I like my teen!  Crazy, isn’t it? After all, we all know that when we were teenagers, our topmost mission in life was to drive our parents insane.  And we felt totally justified because we were positive that they arose every morning deciding how to make our young lives more stressful than we already felt they were.  We vowed we would never be like our parents, only to find ourselves in the same conflicts with our children years later.

Until recently, my story was no different.  The mommy-daughter relationship in our house hasn’t always been joyful.  And the early adolescent phase was downright awful.  There were many times when I wondered if an ornery alien was inhabiting my daughter’s body.  However, I’ve noticed that the more time I devote to myself (yes, self-focus), the more I  relax, breathe, stretch, read and try to find the joy and peace in life, the more my inner calm permeates my household — teen and all.

“The attitude”, as I call it, of the teen who always feels bothered and picked on (no matter how nicely you try to say something to her) has almost disappeared.  And when it does resurface, it doesn’t last for long.  I don’t overreact to “the attitude”, and so the fire is not fueled and quickly burns out.

I don’t want to take all the credit for my wonderful teen.  Maybe some of my inner calm and ability to see the greater good in people and situations, rather than judging and trying to control them, has rubbed off.  I hope so.  But maybe my 15-year-old is just maturing and coming into her own beautiful soulfulness early on in life.  Either way, I really enjoy spending time with my teen and look forward to each and every day.  As long as I don’t neglect my own spiritual health and wellness, things seem to flow in my household.

If you’re having a challenging time with your teenagers, try working on yourself.  It may not be the complete solution, but certainly can’t hurt.  If nothing else, you’ll be able to weather the storm of the teen years without totally losing yourself or your sanity.  Just a little tidbit that has worked for me.  Good luck.

Life is good!  Namaste.  –Lori

I like holidays.  I really do.  I even like birthdays, anniversaries, retirements, quinceñeras and the like.  What I do not like is gift-giving.

It’s not that I’m selfish or cheap.  I love to give…money, hugs, my time, food, my shoulder to lean on.  I’m just slightly unimaginative and terribly insecure when it comes to purchasing and giving stuff.  I put off the gift-buying until the last minute and then second, third and fourth-guess myself long after I’ve swiped the credit card.  Is this gift good enough?  Does it convey how much I care about this person?  Did I spend the right amount of money? 

Well, thanks to a terrible thing called a recession, my gift-giving stress has been somewhat alleviated this year.  Forgive the glibness of that last comment.  I don’t want to make light of the difficult economic times we are in as many folks are going through extra hardships this year.  But I’ve noticed some good to come out of this.

This year, I have finally saved up enough bucks to go cross-country to spend the holidays with my family…the first time in three years.  And because of tough economic times for all, the matriarch of my family (we just call her “mom”) has decided that there will be no customary, frenzied gift-exchange on December 24th.  Just board games and food.  Yippie!  I couldn’t be happier.  I get to see my family and enjoy their company without worrying about how well I fared at gift-buying.

On my husband’s side, we’ve started a name-drawing and dollar limit.  I think I can handle that…one small thoughtful gift for one family member.  We’ve also started to make a bigger deal of the time spent together and less of the “stuff” given and received.

‘Tis the season for generosity, sharing, open hearts, and creative and fun ways of spending time together at the holidays.  While I’m a very insecure gift-giver, I sure know how to give a hug, share my laughter and enjoy my family.  That’s better than beautifully wrapped “stuff” any day.  Even if money is tight this year, try to enjoy your time with the people you love and know that that’s the best gift of all.  Happy holidays!

Life is good!  Namaste.  –Lori

This is truly just a tidbit.  Just thought I’d let you all know that it is possible to survive and lead a normal lifestyle without cable TV (or satellite, or Direct TV, or 100+ channels).  My family and I do, and we don’t really feel deprived.

Now, you might urge me to join the 21st Century.  I appreciate that.  And just so you know, I couldn’t live without a computer or a microwave.  However, we haven’t found a compelling reason yet to increase our TV viewing choices or our monthly expenses.  In fact, it amazes me that most people consider cable to be a basic utility (like water, gas, electric) and wouldn’t consider cancelling it even in times of financial struggle. 

To all those who gasp when I tell them that I don’t know the show they are referring to because I don’t have cable TV, I assure you that I’m fine.  I’m normal.  My family is well-adjusted and not deprived in the least. 

For the time-being, we just choose to skip all those reality shows (I still get to watch desperate housewives, just not real ones).  We also watch sports and PBS regularly.  I would have never discovered the life-changing teachings of Wayne Dyer if it were not for PBS.  Oh yeah, and we have two bookshelves in the living room where the big screen TV would probably go if we had one (which we’d definitely have to purchase if we had cable).

Just thought I’d let you know that if you’re ever in the situation where you need to trim some fat off your monthly expenses, you can survive without cable TV.  And I’ve got a lot of great books for you to read to fill the time if you think you’d get bored.

Life is good!  Namaste.  –Lori

photos by: Theresa Holder

 “Perhaps, the most important thing we can do is

honor whatever season we’re in and not fight it.”  

I love this follow up comment from my recent post Seasons Change.  Fellow blog writer Sara  really gave the fighter in me something to think about here. 

After reading Sara’s comment, it struck me that while honoring the seasons is an excellent way to deal with the changes in the calendar, the temperature, the daylight hours, energy levels, etc., the concept of honoring can be used in a much wider arena.

You see, I tend to resist or fight changes that I don’t immediately see the value in.  The kink that change throws into the perceived steadiness of my life does not thrill me.

Accepting change, therefore, may require us to honor things we normally fight against.  Honoring a headache, for example.  What value is there in a headache?  (As a migraine sufferer, I’ve been trying to answer this question forever.) Well, maybe, just maybe, it’s our brain’s way of telling us to shut out the noise—that constant chattering that we allow to fill our minds. 

Perhaps pain of any kind is a reminder to us as humans that we have been given the gift of the human body and need to honor it as a gift. 

Hmmmm…should I then welcome or be happy with pain?  Gosh, no.  I’m all about quality of life.  This earthly visit is so short, I prefer to go through it as healthy and happy as possible. 

I’m merely suggesting that honoring what is (physical or otherwise)–respecting and allowing that some changes are just plain necessary–may be the first step in moving through those changes effortlessly. 

Life is good!  Namaste.  –Lori

Been wondering why no new posts lately?  Honestly, I’ve been wondering the same thing.  I ask myself: Why the lack of inspiration?  Where did all that great creative energy from the summer go?  Why the desire to just come home at night, put on my pajamas and vegetate?

But alas, all questions that are asked with a pure heart are answered in good time.  My answer came yesterday while attending a very cool workshop on Taoist energy healing, given by a very cool Taoist Monk, Pedram Shojai.  Whoa, sounds pretty out there, you might be thinking.

Well,  I love going to these types of workshops because I’m just plain curious about different things, philosophies, ideas, systems, etc. that are new to me.  But to be perfectly frank, I really only understand a fraction of what I learn and remember only a fraction of that fraction.   Being an optimist, I guess I’m hoping that just exposing myself to these different ways of thinking, believing, dealing with life and the Universe will somehow positively affect my life.

In addition to learning about how the health of different internal organs, or lack thereof, affects our whole well-being.  I also had a minor epiphany about my own spiritual well-being.  It came during a minor comment about the earth elements (fire, earth, wood, water and metal) and their connections to the seasons.  Just as the seasons change, so do our inner beings.  Afterall, we don’t live in isolation of the place we live in.  It’s impossible.  Rather, in every moment, we are affected by and affecting our Universe.  Energy in and energy out.  It’s a dance, it’s a relationship, it’s a continuous give-and-take.

Come to find out, I’m not immune to this mutual exchange of energy.  I’m not unaffected by the changing seasons, the lessening of daylight, the cooling off of the outdoors, the need to power down and conserve energy to stay warm for the coming seasons.  As much as I love how my soul just blossoms and takes flight during the spring, how it fires up and burns bright all summer, I forgot that with the passing of spring and summer comes fall and winter. 

So if you’ve been wondering where I’ve been, I’ve been shedding my leaves I guess.  Closing the windows and getting out the comforters.  Preparing to power down and burn more like an ember rather than a blazing fire.  Time to nourish, replenish and rest the body and soul.  No worries, though.  I have no fear that the flames will extinguish.  They are just recharging for the coming seasons.  It’s natural.  It’s seasonal.  It’s the give and take of life forces at work.

Life is good!  Namaste.  –Lori

I’m 47 years young.  There.  I’ve just broken a really huge taboo and told everyone, everywhere my age.  So what?

Though it took me almost half a century, today I learned a really great lesson from a 24-year-old wise man.  Let’s call him Joe.  Joe led my meditation class and got me breathing, moving, twirling and vibrating energy very early on a Sunday morning.  (My Sunday mornings typically begin by sleeping in and then drinking coffee in bed while watching whatever sport is on the tube.)

Thanks to the wisdom of Joe and the generosity he showed us by sharing his gift, my Sunday has got off to an amazing start.  I thanked him after class, listened to more of his wise observations on meditation and reconnecting with spirit and told him that I wished I had been so wise at such a young age.

In his wisdom, Joe responded, “You’re right on time.” 

I instantly got it!  It all circles back to staying present and knowing that only by being in the present moment can you connect with Spirit.  Wishing you had done things differently in the past or worrying about getting it or getting there in the future is futile.

Apparently, I’m in the right place and time in my journey to make my connection with Spirit.  So are you.  Don’t worry that it’s too late or you’ve missed your chance.  Forget about your age, your background, your station in life.  Just be still and listen for the boarding instructions.  You are right on time to make that connection, and I know it’s going to be an amazing journey.

Life is good!  Namaste.  –Lori

Friday night at the high school football game.  Lights are shining.  Score board lit up.  Mascots dancing.  Players running, tackling, throwing, kicking.  Coaches pacing the sidelines.  Cheerleaders cheering (mine is the pretty one with the pom-poms and the pony tail). 

Does this bring back any fond memories for those of you who are already celebrating high school reunions?  Now that my daughter is in high school, I find myself spending more Friday nights in the bleachers than I ever did when I was her age.  It’s fun.  It’s exciting.  It’s embarrassing!

Why the embarrassment?  Well, as teenagers, we’re given a bit of leeway to act less than mature.  But as adults, we’re supposed to be able to model the kind of behavior that we want our teens to grow into.  Not so at Friday night football, sad to say.

As Hillary Clinton’s book It Takes a Village reminded us, it is not just the responsibility of one adult to raise one child.  We are all responsible for the young people that we share the globe with.  We are role models every day, every minute of our lives.  And as such, we are not given carte blanche to get drunk and act like obnoxious fools just because we’re in the football stands (or in the hockey bleachers, or at little league…).

We all need to remember that the young people of today are looking to each and every one of us adults for cues on how to be cool adults.  (Not drunken fool cool, but rather I-want-to-be-like-him/her-when-I-grow-up cool.)  It may not be your flesh and blood child watching smirk-faced (LOL) and  open-mouthed (OMG) as you are escorted out of the stands by campus security, but it’s you’re community child, you’re village child, your global child.   And that child is always watching and learning. 

So be careful what you’re modeling from the Friday night bleachers.  The kids sitting near you may not be in class, but be assured that they are taking mental notes.

Life is good.  Life is precious.  Namaste.  –Lori

“Stay present: every second, every minute, and every hour. Every day of your life is full of present moments of infinite value. You won’t find God yesterday or tomorrow–your Source is always only here, now.”

Wayne Dyer, Excuses Begone!

In his new book, Wayne Dyer talks about the value of staying present in the now as a tool for ridding ourselves of excuses that we may use for not leading our most fulfilling lives.  Staying present in the now, without judging it in any way, will assist us in not slipping into old excuse patterns of blaming the past, our past, someone else’s past, possible future failures or any other not-now-time event or person for who we are in the present moment.

Unfortunately, as we get older, getting into the now and staying constantly present is a huge challenge.  Turning off the constant distractions in our own head seems to require a special remote control that we’ve certainly misplaced (along with the TV remote, right?).  You know what distractions I’m talking about.  The constant judgements you place on yourself and others.  The little (and sometimes lengthy) conversations you have in your own head while standing in front of another person pretending to listen to them.  The all-day mental, physical and emotional multi-tasking we do without even noticing that we’re not fully attending to one darned thing.

When we do land in the present moment, it’s almost as if by accident.  And we often wonder how we got there and what’s the quickest route back to “reality” or the place we were before we were so rudely kidnapped by our awakened nowness.

Is it all doom and gloom for our scattered souls?  No way.  There’s most definitely hope for the everywhere-but-here-and-now human race.  I’ve seen it.  And it was packaged as a young child.  Made me realize that hitting the “distractions off” button on that elusive remote was not difficult in the least.  In fact, it was pure child’s play.

Think about it.  When you see a child at play–whether the child is entranced in the world of Barbies or constructing whole cities in the sandbox–are they fully alert to every little disturbance in the outside world?  (If they were, there’d never be a need to call them twice for dinner.)  They truly seem to be totally immersed in the present, fully absorbed in the moment, then the next moment, then the next.  You get the drift, right? 

As I was reading about this in Wayne Dyer’s Excuses Begone! book, I suddenly understood and instantly forgave the “thoughtless” (parental label, not mine) young Lori who often, as good girls do, instinctively agreed to parental requests and ten seconds later completely forgot them.  I can remember apologizing so much as a child because my mom had asked me to do something.  Wanting to please her, I said I would (and was sincere in my intention to do it “soon”).   I’d promptly go back to whatever I had been doing before she asked.  Ten minutes later, when asked why I hadn’t done what I promised to do, I would lamely offer, “I’m sorry.  I forgot.”  My poor frustrated mother couldn’t understand how I could have forgotten something I just promised to do a few minutes earlier.  Honestly, I was baffled at myself and lived with a fair share of guilt.

I now realize that in my child’s play, I was able to turn off the outside world of distractions (including parents), be in the present moment, partly remove myself from that moment in order to answer mom’s request, and then slip right back into the now.  The now of my imagination or playtime was where life was really happening.  Not the anticipation or anxiety of future tasks that were requested of me.  They weren’t in the now and could not distract me for long.  (Sorry mom, dad, teacher, babysitter, or anyone else I “forgot” to fulfill promises to.)

Total immersion in the present is something that children do so easily.  As easy as breathing or playing.  With a little effort, it’s also something we can do now to get into the now and stay in the now, moment by moment by moment.  Finding a quiet space inside yourself by focusing on your breathing (a wonderful moment by moment activity that I do during yoga practice) is one way to learn to be more present.  Meditating and allowing outter and inner distractions to flow through the now (without judging them) is another.  Repeating affirmations about staying fully present will also lead you to become that person that’s right here, right now, and still now, and still now….and one with the Universe.

Here’s a challenge for you:  Try staying present for part of your day, with the person you’re with, with just one thought, with what you are seeing, hearing or smelling right now.  If this is a bit overwhelming, just stay present with your breath for an extended period of time and see if you feel any different.  And one more thing.  If your mom asks you to do something, be fully present when you answer her or make her a promise.   I guarantee that she’ll be listening to your response with undivided attention.

Life is really good!  Namaste.  –Lori

Wishing you all the happiness today, September 11th, 2009, that you deserve simply because you are you.  A child of God, a part of your Source, a piece of the Universe, a wonderful living, breathing being.

No, I’m not crazy.  Nor do I mean to be disrespectful, insensitive or thoughtless.  I am perfectly mindful of the events of September 11th, 2001 that affected so many lives in a tragic way.  However, I choose not to live in pain today.  Today, I choose to be mindful of all of the people and things in my life that show up as blessings.  I choose to connect with the peaceful Universe and be one with the spirit of love that embraces us all, no matter what nationality, religion, ethnicity or culture we associate with.

On this day, many people around the world actually take time out of their daily routines to remember, grieve, pray and pay tribute.  I invite you to join me today to offer gratitude for the gifts that have shown up in your life.  But today, our gratitude list will be humongous.  Today, let’s craft a list entitled “911 Things To Be Grateful For”.  Give it a shot.  I did and it wasn’t that hard. 

Start by listing all of the people that have passed in and out of your life and made you the person you are today.  Were they old classmates, former best friends, ex-boyfriends, current relatives, co-workers, neighbors, teammates?  Then add to the list all of the material comforts you have that make life easier for you (past and present stuff).  What about jobs you’ve held, clubs you’ve been in, books you’ve read, speakers you’ve heard in person or on TV?  Don’t forget nature, the plants and animals that add joy to your life.  The sunsets you’ve seen, the rain that’s watered your garden, the cat that sleeps at the end of your bed and keeps you from being lonely at night.

No doubt, you’ve got more than 911 things to put on your list, but let’s just keep it at that for today.  After all, this is a day of remembrance.  So give a moment of silence to remember sad, past 9/11 events.  Then look at your list and vow to remember the 911 reasons you have to be grateful for today.

Life is good!  Namaste. –Lori

“When you have fear and do the thing anyway, you are holding on to the hand of God.”
(Edwene Gaines, The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity)

Wouldn’t it be freeing to be completely fearless?  Never feel the fear of trying new things, taking on new challenges.  I think I’d settle for just feeling less fear.  I’m okay with feeling just enough fear to know that I’m attempting something important, but not enough to scare the you-know-what out of me.

In all reality, I think there are very few of us who feel no fear.  But I’m sure there are plenty of us who feel the fear and do it anyway, to paraphrase Edwene Gaines.  And what gets us to hold our breath, close our eyes, take the leap and hope for the best?  Faith.  Simple and pure.

Even if you don’t consider yourself a faithful follower of any particular religion, I know that you have practiced holding the hand of some being greater than yourself.  Life requires it, lest we be held hostage under the covers of our bed 24/7.  Afterall, the news and the naysayers are always more than ready to remind us of the worst case scenario for any decision we are embarking upon.  What if this, that or the other calamity happens as a result of us taking the leap?

Do we know that when we buy our first car, it won’t be stolen or damaged?  Do we know for sure that it’s the perfectly right time to have a child and all the parenting skills we need will rise to the surface the minute we need them?  Do we know that the plane we are boarding will not crash in the ocean, the spouse we are marrying will not leave us, the new job we take will not disappoint us, and on and on and on.  Enough already!

It’s all too easy to let the fear stop us from playing big.  But you know that you can’t win

big if you don’t play big.  No Olympic athlete ever won the high dive competition by staying on the ground.  So how does one get to the edge of the 30-foot platform, on tippy toes (sometimes even the handstand thing…scares me just to watch them) and push off?  You got it…holding the hand of God or Spirit or Buddha or….you know what I mean…faith.

There will never be a guarantee that feeling the fear and taking the leap anyway will result in the best case scenario, but for me staying stagnant and letting the fear keep me from living is my worst case scenario.  And just by working through the fear once, we have a basis for hoping for the best next time around.

Believe me, I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I had let all of my fears keep me from living.  I wouldn’t speak Spanish if I hadn’t taken the leap and moved to South America for two years.  I wouldn’t have my lovely teenage daughter if I had waited for just the right time to have a baby.  I wouldn’t  have my funny, loving husband if I had let my previous divorce define me as a failure at marriage.  I wouldn’t work in my current career if I had been too afraid to go back to school at age 30.  I wouldn’t enjoy my home if I had been too afraid to invest in the real estate market.  (I did invest in the dot.com stock market in 2001 and lost it all…I survived).

My point is that for every risk that doesn’t pan out the way you had hoped, you can probably find evidence of many that did.  Focus on those as your source of faith-building.  For every “what if it doesn’t work out?”, there’s a “what if it does?”  If given the choice of two possible outcomes, positive or negative, why not choose to focus on the positive possibilities?

I invite you make a list of risks you’ve taken in the past that required you working through some fear.  Did you survive them?  Did you learn something from them?  Have they made you who you are today?  Keep this list handy and refer to it the next time you are afraid to do something your heart is calling you to do.  You don’t have to be fearless to fear less. 

Life is good!  Namaste.  –Lori