Parenting A TeenJanuary 24th, 2010
I like my teen! Crazy, isn’t it? After all, we all know that when we were teenagers, our topmost mission in life was to drive our parents insane. And we felt totally justified because we were positive that they arose every morning deciding how to make our young lives more stressful than we already felt they were. We vowed we would never be like our parents, only to find ourselves in the same conflicts with our children years later.
Until recently, my story was no different. The mommy-daughter relationship in our house hasn’t always been joyful. And the early adolescent phase was downright awful. There were many times when I wondered if an ornery alien was inhabiting my daughter’s body. However, I’ve noticed that the more time I devote to myself (yes, self-focus), the more I relax, breathe, stretch, read and try to find the joy and peace in life, the more my inner calm permeates my household — teen and all.
“The attitude”, as I call it, of the teen who always feels bothered and picked on (no matter how nicely you try to say something to her) has almost disappeared. And when it does resurface, it doesn’t last for long. I don’t overreact to “the attitude”, and so the fire is not fueled and quickly burns out.
I don’t want to take all the credit for my wonderful teen. Maybe some of my inner calm and ability to see the greater good in people and situations, rather than judging and trying to control them, has rubbed off. I hope so. But maybe my 15-year-old is just maturing and coming into her own beautiful soulfulness early on in life. Either way, I really enjoy spending time with my teen and look forward to each and every day. As long as I don’t neglect my own spiritual health and wellness, things seem to flow in my household.
If you’re having a challenging time with your teenagers, try working on yourself. It may not be the complete solution, but certainly can’t hurt. If nothing else, you’ll be able to weather the storm of the teen years without totally losing yourself or your sanity. Just a little tidbit that has worked for me. Good luck.
Life is good! Namaste. –Lori