“When you have fear and do the thing anyway, you are holding on to the hand of God.”
(Edwene Gaines, The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity)

Wouldn’t it be freeing to be completely fearless?  Never feel the fear of trying new things, taking on new challenges.  I think I’d settle for just feeling less fear.  I’m okay with feeling just enough fear to know that I’m attempting something important, but not enough to scare the you-know-what out of me.

In all reality, I think there are very few of us who feel no fear.  But I’m sure there are plenty of us who feel the fear and do it anyway, to paraphrase Edwene Gaines.  And what gets us to hold our breath, close our eyes, take the leap and hope for the best?  Faith.  Simple and pure.

Even if you don’t consider yourself a faithful follower of any particular religion, I know that you have practiced holding the hand of some being greater than yourself.  Life requires it, lest we be held hostage under the covers of our bed 24/7.  Afterall, the news and the naysayers are always more than ready to remind us of the worst case scenario for any decision we are embarking upon.  What if this, that or the other calamity happens as a result of us taking the leap?

Do we know that when we buy our first car, it won’t be stolen or damaged?  Do we know for sure that it’s the perfectly right time to have a child and all the parenting skills we need will rise to the surface the minute we need them?  Do we know that the plane we are boarding will not crash in the ocean, the spouse we are marrying will not leave us, the new job we take will not disappoint us, and on and on and on.  Enough already!

It’s all too easy to let the fear stop us from playing big.  But you know that you can’t win

big if you don’t play big.  No Olympic athlete ever won the high dive competition by staying on the ground.  So how does one get to the edge of the 30-foot platform, on tippy toes (sometimes even the handstand thing…scares me just to watch them) and push off?  You got it…holding the hand of God or Spirit or Buddha or….you know what I mean…faith.

There will never be a guarantee that feeling the fear and taking the leap anyway will result in the best case scenario, but for me staying stagnant and letting the fear keep me from living is my worst case scenario.  And just by working through the fear once, we have a basis for hoping for the best next time around.

Believe me, I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I had let all of my fears keep me from living.  I wouldn’t speak Spanish if I hadn’t taken the leap and moved to South America for two years.  I wouldn’t have my lovely teenage daughter if I had waited for just the right time to have a baby.  I wouldn’t  have my funny, loving husband if I had let my previous divorce define me as a failure at marriage.  I wouldn’t work in my current career if I had been too afraid to go back to school at age 30.  I wouldn’t enjoy my home if I had been too afraid to invest in the real estate market.  (I did invest in the dot.com stock market in 2001 and lost it all…I survived).

My point is that for every risk that doesn’t pan out the way you had hoped, you can probably find evidence of many that did.  Focus on those as your source of faith-building.  For every “what if it doesn’t work out?”, there’s a “what if it does?”  If given the choice of two possible outcomes, positive or negative, why not choose to focus on the positive possibilities?

I invite you make a list of risks you’ve taken in the past that required you working through some fear.  Did you survive them?  Did you learn something from them?  Have they made you who you are today?  Keep this list handy and refer to it the next time you are afraid to do something your heart is calling you to do.  You don’t have to be fearless to fear less. 

Life is good!  Namaste.  –Lori

I know you’re wondering if that title is correct?  Didn’t she mean “daily meditation”? 

Nope.  I meant to type “all-day meditation” because I’ve just discovered how to do it…and

like most good things, quite accidentally.

Honestly speaking, I don’t practice meditation every day.  I want to, intend to, try

to…and then I just do my best which averages about 4 times a week.  Not bad, but I feel so

darned good when I actually take 20 measly minutes out of my day (early morning is best for

me) to quiet the mind and soul and open myself up to unknown consciousness possibilities

that await.  Even if I don’t have a “deep” experience, I always feel better when I meditate,

even if just for part of the day.

Today, however, I just expanded my definition and practice of meditation.  You see, I had

done the crossed-leg, deep-breathing, quiet meditation thing in my home this morning before work, but then as I progressed through my day, I found that the peace of mind I had started with continued throughout my very regular day.

Morning — Daughter yelling: “Mom, we need to leave RIGHT NOW!”  Me: Ommmmmm……”Okay, let me get my shoes on.”

Lunchtime — Plan: Go to sandwich shop and eat in nice air conditioning while preparing

afternoon class.  Actuality:  All tables occupied in sandwich shop, line to order

sandwiches practically out the door.  Me: Ommmmmm…….wait patiently in line, start

reading materials for afternoon class, order sandwich, leave, drive to somewhere else to

enjoy sandwich.

Afternoon –  Yoga instructor Mic set the intention for us to lengthen those hamstrings (you

know, those muscles you feel when you stretch your legs out and try to bend over and touch

your toes without bending your knees…ouch).  So as I stretched those ever-tight hammies, Ommmmmm…… just kept my focus on my breath and keeping my eyes relaxed.   Before I knew it, I was touching those toes and actually enjoyed doing it!

Now I didn’t actually say “Om” outloud at any point in the day.  I don’t think I even said

it to myself.  But I can honestly attest that I felt for a brief few seconds or minutes, I

Flickr Photo

experienced the quiet solitude of deep meditation while moving through my day.  The best way

I can explain it is two-fold:  First, in a situation that would normally trigger my anxiety,

I was quickly able to flip a switch to peaceful acceptance.  Second, I also had that magical

feeling of time moving at its own pace, not mine.  I don’t know how long that sandwich line

took or how long I held that yoga stretch, but it felt like a millisecond.

If you’re reading this, I don’t think that I have to convince you that meditation is good stuff.  I invite you all to try it every day or all day.  Whatever works best for you.  Either sit quietly and set your intention for relaxation and renewal in a traditional way or stop for a few seconds on your evening walk and smell the night air, internalize it, let time pass of its own accord without you worrying that you need to be doing something.  Find snippets of time each day, all day to breathe in and Om your way through a regular day and into oneness with the Universe.

Life is good!  Namaste. –Lori

When was the last time you actively practiced courage?  Personally, I’m afraid that I can’t remember.   I mean, I try to be brave if the occasion requires it, but I actually don’t look to put myself into situations that will actively call for this.  Seriously, at my age, navigating the subway in Manhattan felt brave.

Well, I have just spent the week with my newly arrived international college students.  You see, by day I’m an English language teacher (by night, cool blogger).  This semester I have 17 students from 11 different countries.  I know what you’re thinking: “How awesome is that job.”  I agree.

At the beginning of each semester, I always enjoy the fresh blood and cultural diversity and am one of the lucky ones that looks forward to the start of school.  But I have to say that this week, I not only felt lucky, but inspired.

Afterall, when was the last time that any of us decided to leave our homeland, travel half-way around the world to an unfamiliar country and begin a college program in a language that we either didn’t know at all or could just get by in?  That’s what these amazing young people are all doing.  They’ve set these incredible linguistic and academic goals for themselves, left behind their familiar lives, paid their tuition and got on that plane. And no one told them they had to.  They just decided that they would take on this courageous adventure and see if they could mold a better future for themselves via this path.

Again, I ask you, I ask myself, when is the last time we/I not only stepped out of our comfort zone in any significant way, but flew out of it and landed in what probably seems like the twilight zone?  Okay, maybe such a life change is not for everyone, but I’m sure that there are challenges that call to each of us to step out of our comfort zones and act courageously.

I salute these students and find inspiration in their courage to actively seek their unknown future, to take on a new culture, new country, new language, new life path.   Practicing courage…what a great idea.   Again, a case of the students teaching the teacher.

Life is good!  Namaste.  –Lori

I can’t really think of an instance when keeping an open mind about something turned out to

be a bad thing.  Can you?  Even if someone or something disappointed me, having an open mind

kept the possibility of good results alive for a time and that time was good.

While I was not completely enthused about going to New York on vacation, I did try to plan

good activities and keep an open mind about my time there.  All plans turned out fine.  We

got to see two musicals, walk through Central Park, spend the afternoon in the Metropolitan

Museum of Art, eat sushi, see the city lights at night from atop the Empire State Building, eat gelato in Little Italy and cruise the fancy shops in Soho and Greenwich Village.

Unplanned, better-than-expected treats: being able to people watch and listen to at least ten different languages on a daily basis, the yummy and not-so-expensive French restaurant

near the off-Broadway theatre, meeting up with my parents at Grand Central Station, $10 for

a 15-minute massage in China Town, the two lovely locals that offered to help us with

directions as we stood at the top of the subway stairs with our map outstretched, walking so

much that I didn’t gain weight on vacation, and Daffy’s (shhh…don’t tell the other

tourists about this great department store that sells cool New York styles at bargain

prices).

So how was my vacation? Well, I wouldn’t say I’ve been converted to a big city girl, but I

did have a blast and am so glad I went…with an open mind. The whole family had fun, and now we have pictures and memories and stories to share for a lifetime.

Do you have a story of a time when you weren’t looking forward to something, but it turned out better than expected?  Please share it in the comments.

Life is good!  Namaste.  –Lori

I’m not really a big city girl, though you’d never know it.   I have managed to take up residence in big cities (Boston, Chicago, L.A.) most of my adult life.  I now find myself off to the “Big Apple” for vacation.  How did this happen?

Well, yes, I know technically how it happened.  My husband is attending a conference for business.  So it made sense to buy a couple of extra plane tickets and make a little family vacation out of it.  My 15-year-old is excited beyond belief.  I don’t know why.  We don’t actually have the money to buy anything in those fancy stores she sees featured in her teen magazines.

Personally, I’m hoping to spend time in the art museum, Central Park, and Little Italy.  I love Italian food.  Broadway shows are fun, too.  A little sushi before the show would be divine. 

I’m planning that it will be a good vacation, hoping for even better-than-planned results, and looking forward to next summer when I get to pick a greener destination.  No disrespect to NYC, but  as I’ve said, I’ve lived in big cities for many, many years.  Vacation for me suggests a change of scenery, a slower pace, a chance to recharge. 

New York City – we’re almost there.  Hawaii — see you next vacation.

Life is good!  Namaste.  –Lori

[ photo by Lynn Nagel; poem by Lori Havrilla]

Living Deeply

Shall we live deeply
without drowning, without losing
ourselves in the dark, merky waters
of that which is our soul?

Shall we go to that place
which calls to each of us
when we take the time to close
our eyes, take a breath
and listen to the silence?

Do we dare to jump
off the cliff,
to dive, arms outstretched
heart forward, mind silent
and stilled, frozen in time?

Is it forward or backwards we go,
newly discovering or returning
to our destiny,
our hearts,
the depths of what we know
but have forgotten?

Does the depth have a bottom,
a net to catch us,
a hand to grab hold of,
or are we alone on this journey
of exploring the deep?

 Shall we live deeply
without drowning, without losing
ourselves in the dark, merky waters
of that which is our soul?

Note:  This poem was inspired by my good friend Lynn Nagel’s photo of a whale off the coast of Cape Cod.  While I’m not a photographer, I appreciate good pictures so very much.  Thanks for the inspiration soul sista.

Life is good!  Namaste.  –Lori

Ordinary men hate solitude.
But the Master makes use of it,
embracing his aloneness, realizing
he is one with the whole universe.

(Tao Te Ching, 42nd verse)

Yes, I’m on a bit of a Tao roll, so bear with me.  I carry the pocket edition of the Tao Te Ching in my purse at all times. I don’t read it every day (although I think that was the original intent when I purchased it), but I like knowing it’s there. Whether I need a quick spiritual infusion or am sitting in some waiting room with nothing to read, it’s good company. For fun, I like to  just fish it out (as soon as I can locate it in that cavern I call a handbag) and randomly open it to whatever page and verse my finger lands upon.

Today I landed on the above quote and  now humbly admit to you that…that…I’m ordinary.  There, I admitted it. As much as I want to be extraordinary and the master of my universe, I’m mostly ordinarily human when it comes to being comfortable with my aloneness.

I’ve always thought of it as a gift that I’m a people person. Talking, sharing and being with others has always been quite easy for me and pretty joyous most of the time. The flip side of that, however, being that I’m sometimes more at ease in the company of other people than I am with my own solitude. In fact, I often feel a little sorry for myself if I have no one to spend time with or want to do an activity but can’t find a buddy to make it a twosome.

So how can we learn to embrace this aloneness, to make use of it as the Tao Te Ching suggests? A good start is by taking the time to sit quietly, meditate and feel your oneness with the universe. Sounds deep and a little airy-fairy? Well, here are some more concrete suggestions.

Rise and shine! In order to start your day in a more grounded way, get up a little extra early. Find a quiet place in your home or outside and sit and meditate for 20 minutes. You can either set an intention to meditate upon, or leave it open. Sometimes my morning meditation is as simple as me sitting in the patio, cup of hot coffee in my hands, iPod playing peaceful sounds. (I could tell you that the coffee is for the aroma therapy aspect of my meditation, but truth is I’m just a morning coffee person). Just taking that short time to center yourself in the morning will start your day off better.

Hate eating lunch alone?  Don’t skip it or have a working meal (you know, inhaling food while checking your email at your desk). Try a new, cool dining experience. Make a lunch date with yourself. Sit at a table, read a good book, eat slowly and deliberately and enjoy every bite and minute with your favorite lunch companion–yourself. Contrary to your biggest fear, no one is actually looking at you and wondering why you’re eating alone.

No one to play with after work or during your free time? Take yourself on a playdate. Kindly escort yourself to the park, beach, gym, movies, wherever you enjoy spending time. See where your mind and spirit will go when you let them play and not have to keep company and make conversation at the same time.

I’m pretty sure that I wasn’t put on this earth to be ordinary or live an ordinary life. What about you? That’s what I thought. So let’s make a decision right here and right now to be extraordinary beings. Let’s each embrace that place within ourselves that we can only access and know in the solitary moments of our lives. Let’s not run away from our solitude, but rather run with it.

Life is good! Life is extraordinary! Namaste. –Lori

I’ve been busy.  It seems that working through my Vacation To Do List  requires actual doing more than writing.  But it’s good stuff.  It’s good to follow through on plans (yoga, car maintenance, etc.), to be open to new unplanned activities (cleansing diet), and to sometimes not want to do anything at all (sit by pool, nap with cat).

It’s important to be okay with yourself where you’re at emotionally, physically, spiritually, and every other way.  We’re sometimes harder on ourselves than we are on others, but we need to give ourselves permission to be.  Period.

As Lao-tsu’s 29th verse of the Tao Te Ching expresses:

Allow your life to unfold naturally,
Know that it too is a vessel of perfection.
Just as you breathe in and breathe out,
there is a time for being ahead
and a time for being behind;
a time for being in motion
and a time for being at rest;
a time for being vigorous
and a time for being exhausted;
a time for being safe
and a time for being in danger.

Don’t judge yourself when you’re not being or doing what you think you “ought to” be doing.  Give yourself a break now and then.  Just allow yourself to be natural, to be.

Life is good!  Namaste.  –Lori

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. “

Lao-tsu, Tao Te Ching

Chinese philosopher (604 BC – 531 BC)

If you enjoy weaving dreams and setting goals and then find yourself not knowing where to start, join the club. 

Taking the first step towards realizing your goals is not that easy. Knowing where to start can be downright paralyzing.  Especially if your goals are lofty, which I highly recommend.   (Afterall, what fun is there in chasing a dream that is too easily caught?  Sounds like a case of setting low expectations to me.)

Starting with baby steps sounds like good advice unless you’re like me, and you’ve forgotten how to be a baby.  So allow me to provide a few examples.  While the sample goals below are not meant for children, the steps towards making them come true can provide for a lot of childlike amusement.

Let’s say you’ve always dreamed of getting a tattoo but are afraid of taking the leap (there are more than enough folks to talk you out of this “crazy idea”, right?), get a henna tattoo.  Find a little salon that does that cool eyebrow threading thing and inquire whether they can turn you  into an Indian prince or princess with henna designs that will fade in a couple of weeks.  Good way to test it out.  See if you even like it yourself before going for the permanent ink. Watch the tattoo reality shows.  Check out tattoo designs online and research parlors with good reviews.  The next time you see someone with a tattoo, ask them about it and tell them that you are going to get one soon.

Ever wanted to go to Hawaii?  Start dressing in Hawaiian prints and wearing those beautiful flower leis they sell at party supply stores.  Dress as if you’re already an island dweller.  Keep a 12-month Hawaii calendar in your kitchen.  Flip to a different island each month.  Swim with the sea turtles as you pencil in your weekly appointments.  Buy some Kona coffee at the supermarket.  Put pineapple chunks in your salad.  Start living as if you’re in Hawaii and let the universe know that you’re serious about your dream.

Harboring a secret fantasy to be able to play Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata on a baby grand, but don’t have the piano or the musical training?  Get a cheap electric keyboard or used piano at a garage sale and a piano for beginners instruction book.  Schedule in your private lessons with yourself or, better yet, treat yourself to a professional lesson or two.  Hang out in piano stores and sit at the baby grands, pretending your in the market to buy (which you are, though maybe not just today).  Download classical music on your iPod, close your eyes and move your fingers up and down your air piano while you listen. (Air pianos are just as cool as air guitars.  Don’t let anyone tell you any different.)  Find a cool artsy poster of a piano player and hang it in your room.  Wear some jewelry with piano keys and music notes on them. 

 
These are just a few ideas.  I’m not saying they should be your dreams or goals.  I’m not saying they’re my dreams or goals.  (Then again, I didn’t say they weren’t.)  It doesn’t matter.  You have your own dreams and deserve to have them come true.  Let me say that again.  No matter how big or small your dreams are, you absolutely deserve to have them come true.  Start living life on the dream path.  Put one foot in front of the other and take that baby step.

So what are your dreams?  What baby steps can you manage to take on the road to fulfillment?  I guarantee that the road definitely gets shorter once you start walking it.

Life is good!  Namaste.  –Lori

Don’t hate me, but I’m a teacher and  I’m lucky enough to be embarking on a four-week summer break.  Family vacation to some touristy city where my daughter can shop and I can museum hop will only take up five days.  The rest is mine, all mine!

Lest I squander my well earned, much-anticipated time off, I’ve decided to make a very personal, but public, To Do list for myself.  (If you’re reading this, hubby, I didn’t say “Honey-Do” list.  So if you’ve been entertaining some notion of me as the site manager to any home improvement projects, you’ll just have to release that notion.  We can certainly put those ideas on the back burner, but I don’t plan to spend my time in the kitchen monitoring the stovetop.)

Back to my list.  Back to me. (Oh, I feel so delightfully selfish right now.)  These are my “home improvement” projects, with home defined as: a place where one feels comfortable, safe, entertained and can let it all hang out; a place where there’s no need to be anyone but who you are, and have a hell of a time exploring who that might be.

• Play a round of golf on a real golf course.  Thanks to my wonderfully talented and patient husband, I have learned how to hit a golf ball fairly well.  It never goes more than 110 yards at the most, but I almost always make contact with the ball and have a great time at the driving range.  Nervous as I might be to debut on the greens, I’m bored with the little green carpets.  Time to foray onto the course and into the grass (sand and/or water optional).

• Take a kayaking lesson.  I’m so lucky to live near the ocean.  It’s a real shame that I don’t do more water stuff.  I’ve been yearning lately to be out on the water in a boat.  The dilemma being that I don’t actually know anyone with a boat.  But who are all those people paddling around in the marina between the docked boats?  Kayakers.  I will be one of them soon.

• Yogacize on an almost daily basis.  I’m thinking that five times a week would be a great goal to put on the To Do list.  My usual excuses for not getting in enough exercise have to do with having other commitments that conflict with yoga class schedules.  Well, now, I think that by posting this, practicing yoga has just become one of my top commitments.  Other things will have to work around the yogi’s schedule.  Ja Yoga, here I come!

• Meditate in the Japanese Gardens.  Yet another blessing practically in my backyard is the Earl Burns Miller Japanese Garden.  Sad to say, but I only go there when I take my students on field trips to the adjoining university.  I spend the whole time taking photos of everyone, and I never get to enjoy the beauty and solitude of the gardens.  A new experience of a familiar place is on the horizon.  Time to gather my quarters for the koi food machine.

• Make a date with a detective on the beach.  Okay, this one probably sounds either really sinister (what kind of trouble have I been getting into, right?) or maybe raises a suspicious eyebrow for anyone who knows that my husband is not in law enforcement of any kind.  Relax.  It’s just a date with a novel.  I spend most of my time, most of my year really, reading great inspirational books.  In fact, many wonderful authors (shout out to Wayne Dyer, my guru) inspired this blogging adventure.  But nothing fits better in the beach bag than a good detective novel.  Female private eyes are especially heroic and entertaining to me, especially ones named Stephanie Plum .

• Be more neighborly.  Many people in big cities don’t even know their neighbors.  I’m lucky enough that I know several of my neighbors on a first-name, small-talk basis.  However, I have never made the time to socialize with any of them.  I’m not sure what form this socialization will take, but I do plan to invite a neighbor or two to lunch, movies, a walk in the park or whatever the universe presents as a good opportunity to be with these kind people. Shyness, concern for proper neighborly boundaries (or whatever else was stopping me from doing this sooner) will be left behind.  Howdy, neighbor!

• Personal tune up stuff.   Not as boring or mechanical as it might first sound.  Okay, maybe slightly mechanical.  My car does need maintenance, and deserves a little tune up after all it’s done for me this year.  So do my eyes, teeth and muscles (why have I waited so long to book a massage?).  Oh yeah, the hair and nails must not be forgotten.  I love those parts too and plan to keep them for a long time. 

Okay.  Now that I’ve shared my To Do list with the universe and my readers, I plan to be accountable for progress made on said list.  If you’re at all interested, check back in about a month to see what I was able to check off my list, what got revised or back-burnered.  I promise to give an honest report.  I almost can’t wait to see the final report myself because life is always so interesting and full of twists and turns.  The possibilities are exciting.

What personal To Do list can you create for yourself?  What check mark on that list would put a huge smile on your face?  You don’t have to share it with anyone, but I encourage you to at least make the list and let the possibilities unfold.

Life is good!  Namaste.  –Lori