I like holidays.  I really do.  I even like birthdays, anniversaries, retirements, quinceñeras and the like.  What I do not like is gift-giving.

It’s not that I’m selfish or cheap.  I love to give…money, hugs, my time, food, my shoulder to lean on.  I’m just slightly unimaginative and terribly insecure when it comes to purchasing and giving stuff.  I put off the gift-buying until the last minute and then second, third and fourth-guess myself long after I’ve swiped the credit card.  Is this gift good enough?  Does it convey how much I care about this person?  Did I spend the right amount of money? 

Well, thanks to a terrible thing called a recession, my gift-giving stress has been somewhat alleviated this year.  Forgive the glibness of that last comment.  I don’t want to make light of the difficult economic times we are in as many folks are going through extra hardships this year.  But I’ve noticed some good to come out of this.

This year, I have finally saved up enough bucks to go cross-country to spend the holidays with my family…the first time in three years.  And because of tough economic times for all, the matriarch of my family (we just call her “mom”) has decided that there will be no customary, frenzied gift-exchange on December 24th.  Just board games and food.  Yippie!  I couldn’t be happier.  I get to see my family and enjoy their company without worrying about how well I fared at gift-buying.

On my husband’s side, we’ve started a name-drawing and dollar limit.  I think I can handle that…one small thoughtful gift for one family member.  We’ve also started to make a bigger deal of the time spent together and less of the “stuff” given and received.

‘Tis the season for generosity, sharing, open hearts, and creative and fun ways of spending time together at the holidays.  While I’m a very insecure gift-giver, I sure know how to give a hug, share my laughter and enjoy my family.  That’s better than beautifully wrapped “stuff” any day.  Even if money is tight this year, try to enjoy your time with the people you love and know that that’s the best gift of all.  Happy holidays!

Life is good!  Namaste.  –Lori

This is truly just a tidbit.  Just thought I’d let you all know that it is possible to survive and lead a normal lifestyle without cable TV (or satellite, or Direct TV, or 100+ channels).  My family and I do, and we don’t really feel deprived.

Now, you might urge me to join the 21st Century.  I appreciate that.  And just so you know, I couldn’t live without a computer or a microwave.  However, we haven’t found a compelling reason yet to increase our TV viewing choices or our monthly expenses.  In fact, it amazes me that most people consider cable to be a basic utility (like water, gas, electric) and wouldn’t consider cancelling it even in times of financial struggle. 

To all those who gasp when I tell them that I don’t know the show they are referring to because I don’t have cable TV, I assure you that I’m fine.  I’m normal.  My family is well-adjusted and not deprived in the least. 

For the time-being, we just choose to skip all those reality shows (I still get to watch desperate housewives, just not real ones).  We also watch sports and PBS regularly.  I would have never discovered the life-changing teachings of Wayne Dyer if it were not for PBS.  Oh yeah, and we have two bookshelves in the living room where the big screen TV would probably go if we had one (which we’d definitely have to purchase if we had cable).

Just thought I’d let you know that if you’re ever in the situation where you need to trim some fat off your monthly expenses, you can survive without cable TV.  And I’ve got a lot of great books for you to read to fill the time if you think you’d get bored.

Life is good!  Namaste.  –Lori

Been wondering why no new posts lately?  Honestly, I’ve been wondering the same thing.  I ask myself: Why the lack of inspiration?  Where did all that great creative energy from the summer go?  Why the desire to just come home at night, put on my pajamas and vegetate?

But alas, all questions that are asked with a pure heart are answered in good time.  My answer came yesterday while attending a very cool workshop on Taoist energy healing, given by a very cool Taoist Monk, Pedram Shojai.  Whoa, sounds pretty out there, you might be thinking.

Well,  I love going to these types of workshops because I’m just plain curious about different things, philosophies, ideas, systems, etc. that are new to me.  But to be perfectly frank, I really only understand a fraction of what I learn and remember only a fraction of that fraction.   Being an optimist, I guess I’m hoping that just exposing myself to these different ways of thinking, believing, dealing with life and the Universe will somehow positively affect my life.

In addition to learning about how the health of different internal organs, or lack thereof, affects our whole well-being.  I also had a minor epiphany about my own spiritual well-being.  It came during a minor comment about the earth elements (fire, earth, wood, water and metal) and their connections to the seasons.  Just as the seasons change, so do our inner beings.  Afterall, we don’t live in isolation of the place we live in.  It’s impossible.  Rather, in every moment, we are affected by and affecting our Universe.  Energy in and energy out.  It’s a dance, it’s a relationship, it’s a continuous give-and-take.

Come to find out, I’m not immune to this mutual exchange of energy.  I’m not unaffected by the changing seasons, the lessening of daylight, the cooling off of the outdoors, the need to power down and conserve energy to stay warm for the coming seasons.  As much as I love how my soul just blossoms and takes flight during the spring, how it fires up and burns bright all summer, I forgot that with the passing of spring and summer comes fall and winter. 

So if you’ve been wondering where I’ve been, I’ve been shedding my leaves I guess.  Closing the windows and getting out the comforters.  Preparing to power down and burn more like an ember rather than a blazing fire.  Time to nourish, replenish and rest the body and soul.  No worries, though.  I have no fear that the flames will extinguish.  They are just recharging for the coming seasons.  It’s natural.  It’s seasonal.  It’s the give and take of life forces at work.

Life is good!  Namaste.  –Lori

Friday night at the high school football game.  Lights are shining.  Score board lit up.  Mascots dancing.  Players running, tackling, throwing, kicking.  Coaches pacing the sidelines.  Cheerleaders cheering (mine is the pretty one with the pom-poms and the pony tail). 

Does this bring back any fond memories for those of you who are already celebrating high school reunions?  Now that my daughter is in high school, I find myself spending more Friday nights in the bleachers than I ever did when I was her age.  It’s fun.  It’s exciting.  It’s embarrassing!

Why the embarrassment?  Well, as teenagers, we’re given a bit of leeway to act less than mature.  But as adults, we’re supposed to be able to model the kind of behavior that we want our teens to grow into.  Not so at Friday night football, sad to say.

As Hillary Clinton’s book It Takes a Village reminded us, it is not just the responsibility of one adult to raise one child.  We are all responsible for the young people that we share the globe with.  We are role models every day, every minute of our lives.  And as such, we are not given carte blanche to get drunk and act like obnoxious fools just because we’re in the football stands (or in the hockey bleachers, or at little league…).

We all need to remember that the young people of today are looking to each and every one of us adults for cues on how to be cool adults.  (Not drunken fool cool, but rather I-want-to-be-like-him/her-when-I-grow-up cool.)  It may not be your flesh and blood child watching smirk-faced (LOL) and  open-mouthed (OMG) as you are escorted out of the stands by campus security, but it’s you’re community child, you’re village child, your global child.   And that child is always watching and learning. 

So be careful what you’re modeling from the Friday night bleachers.  The kids sitting near you may not be in class, but be assured that they are taking mental notes.

Life is good.  Life is precious.  Namaste.  –Lori

“Stay present: every second, every minute, and every hour. Every day of your life is full of present moments of infinite value. You won’t find God yesterday or tomorrow–your Source is always only here, now.”

Wayne Dyer, Excuses Begone!

In his new book, Wayne Dyer talks about the value of staying present in the now as a tool for ridding ourselves of excuses that we may use for not leading our most fulfilling lives.  Staying present in the now, without judging it in any way, will assist us in not slipping into old excuse patterns of blaming the past, our past, someone else’s past, possible future failures or any other not-now-time event or person for who we are in the present moment.

Unfortunately, as we get older, getting into the now and staying constantly present is a huge challenge.  Turning off the constant distractions in our own head seems to require a special remote control that we’ve certainly misplaced (along with the TV remote, right?).  You know what distractions I’m talking about.  The constant judgements you place on yourself and others.  The little (and sometimes lengthy) conversations you have in your own head while standing in front of another person pretending to listen to them.  The all-day mental, physical and emotional multi-tasking we do without even noticing that we’re not fully attending to one darned thing.

When we do land in the present moment, it’s almost as if by accident.  And we often wonder how we got there and what’s the quickest route back to “reality” or the place we were before we were so rudely kidnapped by our awakened nowness.

Is it all doom and gloom for our scattered souls?  No way.  There’s most definitely hope for the everywhere-but-here-and-now human race.  I’ve seen it.  And it was packaged as a young child.  Made me realize that hitting the “distractions off” button on that elusive remote was not difficult in the least.  In fact, it was pure child’s play.

Think about it.  When you see a child at play–whether the child is entranced in the world of Barbies or constructing whole cities in the sandbox–are they fully alert to every little disturbance in the outside world?  (If they were, there’d never be a need to call them twice for dinner.)  They truly seem to be totally immersed in the present, fully absorbed in the moment, then the next moment, then the next.  You get the drift, right? 

As I was reading about this in Wayne Dyer’s Excuses Begone! book, I suddenly understood and instantly forgave the “thoughtless” (parental label, not mine) young Lori who often, as good girls do, instinctively agreed to parental requests and ten seconds later completely forgot them.  I can remember apologizing so much as a child because my mom had asked me to do something.  Wanting to please her, I said I would (and was sincere in my intention to do it “soon”).   I’d promptly go back to whatever I had been doing before she asked.  Ten minutes later, when asked why I hadn’t done what I promised to do, I would lamely offer, “I’m sorry.  I forgot.”  My poor frustrated mother couldn’t understand how I could have forgotten something I just promised to do a few minutes earlier.  Honestly, I was baffled at myself and lived with a fair share of guilt.

I now realize that in my child’s play, I was able to turn off the outside world of distractions (including parents), be in the present moment, partly remove myself from that moment in order to answer mom’s request, and then slip right back into the now.  The now of my imagination or playtime was where life was really happening.  Not the anticipation or anxiety of future tasks that were requested of me.  They weren’t in the now and could not distract me for long.  (Sorry mom, dad, teacher, babysitter, or anyone else I “forgot” to fulfill promises to.)

Total immersion in the present is something that children do so easily.  As easy as breathing or playing.  With a little effort, it’s also something we can do now to get into the now and stay in the now, moment by moment by moment.  Finding a quiet space inside yourself by focusing on your breathing (a wonderful moment by moment activity that I do during yoga practice) is one way to learn to be more present.  Meditating and allowing outter and inner distractions to flow through the now (without judging them) is another.  Repeating affirmations about staying fully present will also lead you to become that person that’s right here, right now, and still now, and still now….and one with the Universe.

Here’s a challenge for you:  Try staying present for part of your day, with the person you’re with, with just one thought, with what you are seeing, hearing or smelling right now.  If this is a bit overwhelming, just stay present with your breath for an extended period of time and see if you feel any different.  And one more thing.  If your mom asks you to do something, be fully present when you answer her or make her a promise.   I guarantee that she’ll be listening to your response with undivided attention.

Life is really good!  Namaste.  –Lori

I can’t really think of an instance when keeping an open mind about something turned out to

be a bad thing.  Can you?  Even if someone or something disappointed me, having an open mind

kept the possibility of good results alive for a time and that time was good.

While I was not completely enthused about going to New York on vacation, I did try to plan

good activities and keep an open mind about my time there.  All plans turned out fine.  We

got to see two musicals, walk through Central Park, spend the afternoon in the Metropolitan

Museum of Art, eat sushi, see the city lights at night from atop the Empire State Building, eat gelato in Little Italy and cruise the fancy shops in Soho and Greenwich Village.

Unplanned, better-than-expected treats: being able to people watch and listen to at least ten different languages on a daily basis, the yummy and not-so-expensive French restaurant

near the off-Broadway theatre, meeting up with my parents at Grand Central Station, $10 for

a 15-minute massage in China Town, the two lovely locals that offered to help us with

directions as we stood at the top of the subway stairs with our map outstretched, walking so

much that I didn’t gain weight on vacation, and Daffy’s (shhh…don’t tell the other

tourists about this great department store that sells cool New York styles at bargain

prices).

So how was my vacation? Well, I wouldn’t say I’ve been converted to a big city girl, but I

did have a blast and am so glad I went…with an open mind. The whole family had fun, and now we have pictures and memories and stories to share for a lifetime.

Do you have a story of a time when you weren’t looking forward to something, but it turned out better than expected?  Please share it in the comments.

Life is good!  Namaste.  –Lori

I’m not really a big city girl, though you’d never know it.   I have managed to take up residence in big cities (Boston, Chicago, L.A.) most of my adult life.  I now find myself off to the “Big Apple” for vacation.  How did this happen?

Well, yes, I know technically how it happened.  My husband is attending a conference for business.  So it made sense to buy a couple of extra plane tickets and make a little family vacation out of it.  My 15-year-old is excited beyond belief.  I don’t know why.  We don’t actually have the money to buy anything in those fancy stores she sees featured in her teen magazines.

Personally, I’m hoping to spend time in the art museum, Central Park, and Little Italy.  I love Italian food.  Broadway shows are fun, too.  A little sushi before the show would be divine. 

I’m planning that it will be a good vacation, hoping for even better-than-planned results, and looking forward to next summer when I get to pick a greener destination.  No disrespect to NYC, but  as I’ve said, I’ve lived in big cities for many, many years.  Vacation for me suggests a change of scenery, a slower pace, a chance to recharge. 

New York City – we’re almost there.  Hawaii — see you next vacation.

Life is good!  Namaste.  –Lori

photo by Babykailan

I’ve been busy.  It seems that working through my Vacation To Do List  requires actual doing more than writing.  But it’s good stuff.  It’s good to follow through on plans (yoga, car maintenance, etc.), to be open to new unplanned activities (cleansing diet), and to sometimes not want to do anything at all (sit by pool, nap with cat).

It’s important to be okay with yourself where you’re at emotionally, physically, spiritually, and every other way.  We’re sometimes harder on ourselves than we are on others, but we need to give ourselves permission to be.  Period.

As Lao-tsu’s 29th verse of the Tao Te Ching expresses:

Allow your life to unfold naturally,
Know that it too is a vessel of perfection.
Just as you breathe in and breathe out,
there is a time for being ahead
and a time for being behind;
a time for being in motion
and a time for being at rest;
a time for being vigorous
and a time for being exhausted;
a time for being safe
and a time for being in danger.

Don’t judge yourself when you’re not being or doing what you think you “ought to” be doing.  Give yourself a break now and then.  Just allow yourself to be natural, to be.

Life is good!  Namaste.  –Lori

Don’t hate me, but I’m a teacher and  I’m lucky enough to be embarking on a four-week summer break.  Family vacation to some touristy city where my daughter can shop and I can museum hop will only take up five days.  The rest is mine, all mine!

Lest I squander my well earned, much-anticipated time off, I’ve decided to make a very personal, but public, To Do list for myself.  (If you’re reading this, hubby, I didn’t say “Honey-Do” list.  So if you’ve been entertaining some notion of me as the site manager to any home improvement projects, you’ll just have to release that notion.  We can certainly put those ideas on the back burner, but I don’t plan to spend my time in the kitchen monitoring the stovetop.)

Back to my list.  Back to me. (Oh, I feel so delightfully selfish right now.)  These are my “home improvement” projects, with home defined as: a place where one feels comfortable, safe, entertained and can let it all hang out; a place where there’s no need to be anyone but who you are, and have a hell of a time exploring who that might be.

• Play a round of golf on a real golf course.  Thanks to my wonderfully talented and patient husband, I have learned how to hit a golf ball fairly well.  It never goes more than 110 yards at the most, but I almost always make contact with the ball and have a great time at the driving range.  Nervous as I might be to debut on the greens, I’m bored with the little green carpets.  Time to foray onto the course and into the grass (sand and/or water optional).

• Take a kayaking lesson.  I’m so lucky to live near the ocean.  It’s a real shame that I don’t do more water stuff.  I’ve been yearning lately to be out on the water in a boat.  The dilemma being that I don’t actually know anyone with a boat.  But who are all those people paddling around in the marina between the docked boats?  Kayakers.  I will be one of them soon.

• Yogacize on an almost daily basis.  I’m thinking that five times a week would be a great goal to put on the To Do list.  My usual excuses for not getting in enough exercise have to do with having other commitments that conflict with yoga class schedules.  Well, now, I think that by posting this, practicing yoga has just become one of my top commitments.  Other things will have to work around the yogi’s schedule.  Ja Yoga, here I come!

• Meditate in the Japanese Gardens.  Yet another blessing practically in my backyard is the Earl Burns Miller Japanese Garden.  Sad to say, but I only go there when I take my students on field trips to the adjoining university.  I spend the whole time taking photos of everyone, and I never get to enjoy the beauty and solitude of the gardens.  A new experience of a familiar place is on the horizon.  Time to gather my quarters for the koi food machine.

• Make a date with a detective on the beach.  Okay, this one probably sounds either really sinister (what kind of trouble have I been getting into, right?) or maybe raises a suspicious eyebrow for anyone who knows that my husband is not in law enforcement of any kind.  Relax.  It’s just a date with a novel.  I spend most of my time, most of my year really, reading great inspirational books.  In fact, many wonderful authors (shout out to Wayne Dyer, my guru) inspired this blogging adventure.  But nothing fits better in the beach bag than a good detective novel.  Female private eyes are especially heroic and entertaining to me, especially ones named Stephanie Plum .

• Be more neighborly.  Many people in big cities don’t even know their neighbors.  I’m lucky enough that I know several of my neighbors on a first-name, small-talk basis.  However, I have never made the time to socialize with any of them.  I’m not sure what form this socialization will take, but I do plan to invite a neighbor or two to lunch, movies, a walk in the park or whatever the universe presents as a good opportunity to be with these kind people. Shyness, concern for proper neighborly boundaries (or whatever else was stopping me from doing this sooner) will be left behind.  Howdy, neighbor!

• Personal tune up stuff.   Not as boring or mechanical as it might first sound.  Okay, maybe slightly mechanical.  My car does need maintenance, and deserves a little tune up after all it’s done for me this year.  So do my eyes, teeth and muscles (why have I waited so long to book a massage?).  Oh yeah, the hair and nails must not be forgotten.  I love those parts too and plan to keep them for a long time. 

Okay.  Now that I’ve shared my To Do list with the universe and my readers, I plan to be accountable for progress made on said list.  If you’re at all interested, check back in about a month to see what I was able to check off my list, what got revised or back-burnered.  I promise to give an honest report.  I almost can’t wait to see the final report myself because life is always so interesting and full of twists and turns.  The possibilities are exciting.

What personal To Do list can you create for yourself?  What check mark on that list would put a huge smile on your face?  You don’t have to share it with anyone, but I encourage you to at least make the list and let the possibilities unfold.

Life is good!  Namaste.  –Lori

Lately, I’ve been enjoying being inside.  Inside of me, that is.  Being present.  Being thoughtful, without having great thoughts.

Did you ever sit down to write something — a letter, a paper for school, a birthday greeting — and find that you don’t have anything witty or especially interesting to say?  Well, that’s how I’ve been feeling lately, and I’m thinking that it’s probably okay. 

There are times when I’m just about busting out with new ideas, and everything I experience seems to be experienced in prose or poetry.  Then there are times when the experiences just sit with me, marinate, ruminate, and don’t need to be expressed right away. 

This is one of those times and I think I’ll just enjoy it.

Life is good!  Namaste.  –Lori